Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
