it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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