You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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