Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
