just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have post one night stand depression
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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