Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
