She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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