I heard we made out
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
