I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
