I want to make a zoo with you.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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