You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
