So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
