If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
