It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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