I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All the doctor said was why
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
