i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
