im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
