someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
