too bad you live with your parents still
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
