and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
