you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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