im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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