there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
