I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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