Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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