whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
