just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
