and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
