i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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