you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
