Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she told me i tasted like america
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
