pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
