i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
