omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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