just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
