singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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