I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
