But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
