im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
