You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
