dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
