I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
