yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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