I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
