tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
