OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
