Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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