my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
