There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
"it" just moved
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
