This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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